Just Decks is a company whose slogan is “Because when you do one thing, you do it right.” That one thing, presumably, is just decks.
BUT WAIT. Immediately under their claim that they do “one thing” (“just decks”), they list THREE OTHER THINGS that they ALSO do. And even worse, “DECKS” IS NOT EVEN THE FIRST THING!!!
Are they lying about JUST doing decks? Or are they lying about doing the other three things? Which is it? Are decks the “one thing” they do right, meaning they do porches, stairs and patios poorly? Or do they do all four things right and are just too modest for their own good? OR DO THEY DO NONE OF THESE THINGS??? Is “Just Decks” a fake company? A front for some massive worldwide drug syndicate/white slavery ring/organ trafficking conglomerate doing some half-assed outdoor advertising just to keep up appearances?
The more I think about it, the more my questions multiply. Is “Just Decks” responsible for 9/11? The JFK assassination? The Lindbergh Baby kidnapping? Or are they responsible for all three? Did “Just Decks” kill Tupac? Did “Just Decks” fake the moon landing? Is “Just Decks” a business partnership between D.B. Cooper and Jimmy Hoffa? Based on what I can ascertain from this bench ad on the corner of Fullerton and Damen in Chicago, all signs point to YES.
Nice try, “Just Decks,” if that’s your REAL NAME. Your days of confusing the fine citizens of Chicago are numbered. Once this post goes viral, you won’t have anywhere to hide. THIS INJUSTICE WILL NOT STAND!